CCChat

At CCChat we are committed to a deeper understanding of coercive control whilst endeavouring not to replicate the harmful tactics and strategies employed by those who seek to abuse and control.

🟠 We do not believe in shaming a person into accountability or behaviour change. It is our view that shaming is an act of aggression used to exert power over someone by diminishing them and is used to manipulate and control.

🟠 We recognise that those who do harm are among us. They are not monsters or subhuman and they are not “those people”, they are our partners, our families, our friends, our neighbours, our colleagues. They are our heroes, our mentors, our bosses, our therapists and our philanthropists. By dehumanising a  perpetrator as ‘scum’ or ‘vermin’ we unwittingly regard them as not among us when, in fact, they are.

🟠 We recognise the power of loaded language and how certain words can elicit a strong emotional response beyond their literal meaning that can be used to manipulate, influence and control.

🟠 We understand that demands are met with resistance so, to forge meaningful dialogue, we are committed to having respectful dialogue which demeans no-one.

🟠 We understand that, for change to happen, we need to have conversations that feel uncomfortable and challenging and we will strive to do so in a considerate way.

🟠 We recognise that we don’t know what we don’t know and acknowledge the ongoing need and commitment to continue learning.

🟠 We recognise that our own experiences and biases can be a barrier to greater understanding and undertake to address this with continual self-reflection.

🟠 We acknowledge that for each action there is a legitimate and illegitimate use and that context is crucial.

🟠 We understand the exploitative and retraumatising effects of continuous retelling and listening to lived experiences and are mindful of the manipulative impact of eliciting an emotional response.

🟠 We recognise the inherent blame in using the word “should” and how it breeds frustration and shame by focuses on what we haven’t done, instead of focusing on what we could do.

🟠 We understand that, for change to happen, we cannot be afraid of change,